Originally Posted on November 1, 2008
There is nothing worse than having your breast implants announce to the world that they are fake. The typical tell-tale signs of breast implants are unnatural rippling and dimpling in the chest area, causing one’s chest to look bumpy, uneven, and appear as if it has been indented. Breast implant malfunctions of this type often occur with celebrities whose implants may be too large for their frame, or when stars wear tight, chest-bearing clothing.
Tara Reid
Poor Tara! At only 33, her body has all the sex appeal and elasticity of a 100 year old woman. But on the bright side, that’s still half the age of her psoriatic liver.
Victoria Beckham
The worse thing about this is she paid top dollar to have cantelopes bolted at her collar bone. Hell, we would have done it for a 1/3 of whatever amount and a night with David Beckham.
Vivica A. Fox
And had we done Victoria’s augmentation, they would have turned out like Vivica’s. Possibly the cheapest looking breast implants ever.
Audrina Patridge
Patrige’s breast would be a so much better had she opted for a more proportional size for her frame. But maybe this is an ingenious ploy to distract everyone from her Gary Busey-esque teeth.
Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey always makes it a point that her breasts are well-exposed every time she goes out of the house. There’s nothing wrong with that, other than they hang from her armpits
Pamela Anderson
She puts them, takes them out, and puts them back in. The only reason she isn’t higher on the list is she really does not care about the impact of her breasts appearing fake. The most ridiculous Barbie like breasts possible is the actual goal.
Jordan a.k.a. Katie Price
Not one for subltety, she’s has had so many boob jobs that her husband Peter Andre does not feel the need of being informed every time she gets it. She’s even attempted to sell her old breast implants for a million pounds. Katie, klassy with a K.
Tori Spelling
Tori certainly tries harder than any other, unfortunately everything she does is one big fail. But it has to be a cruel fate of life to have access to world’s top surgeons and the best look you could ever hope for is a cracked out muppet.
Whitney Houston
Speaking of crack. The troubled star couldn’t have been in the right frame of mind when she had two salad bowls shoved in her chest.
Christina Aguilera
The pop diva needs to reel those giant kahunas in, they are literally one high note away from exploding.
